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Android X
12-18-2004, 12:14 PM
OOC: to tell you the truth my last story was very GAY so please ignore it if you see Dragonball wars so anyway i have been working on this story for some time and i think its pretty good to read i will be using same chars but diffrent ones as well so here we go

Episode: Most devestating loss


Blaze a saiyan boy in his teens around 18 he was flying at a great speed he had blue hair his hair resembled gohan he was wearing a back tanktop with a black denim jacket with a sword on his back he glanced back to see 3 henchmen looked to be androids he knew he could finish them off

Blaze: Ok you want a fight well your going to get one take this

Blaze charged a yellow ki ball and he tossed it at one of the henchmen the android dodged with ease blaze flew up to him and started to punch him with tremendous speed and strength the android saw his anger an his scouter tried to scan him

Android Henchen 1:Hmm seems to be strong

At that moment he he balled his fist and punched the android right in the eye it flew o the floor and a firey explosion flared up he looked to the other two and hepulled ou his silver sword he ran to the other two and slashed one ih half and the oter was stabbed three times 2 other explosions met Blazes face
then blaze flew to the ground and he seen his house trashed he opened the door and it was torn off the ridges only held up by a narrow peice of wood broken off he walked through the livig rom and seen no one

Blaze: Master thorn!? where are you i need to know ho to trnsform into super saiyan the henchmen have gone wild i need this power

As he walked to the backyard he saw thorn on the floor dead it seems he was beat up very badly and was shot

Blaze: No!!!! i wont let this happen ahhhhhhh

Slowly his hair went a pale blonde and it flew in the wind it started to rain tears streamed down his face and he screamed in anger a golden aura engulfed him it looked like golden flames in the backround 3 henchmen came flying to the seen redy to finish off Blaze

Blaze:I wont let your death be in vein i will avenge you !!!!!


Author: It seems blaze tapped into his inner strength andnow he is a super saiyan will he finish te henchmen and thorn has had a terrible tragedy will he be avenged? see next time on DragonBall unlimited!!

SS4 Dark Saiyan
12-18-2004, 12:25 PM
lol this is like history of Trunks altered.

Android X
12-18-2004, 12:28 PM
True True but it will get better i promise now i need more feedback

SS4 Dark Saiyan
12-18-2004, 12:39 PM
well it has potential. hows that?

blooddemon95
12-18-2004, 12:40 PM
u have a pretty nice story here

Android X
12-18-2004, 12:40 PM
good thank you ill start a new one

blooddemon95
12-18-2004, 12:41 PM
cool:up:

SSJ4Vegeto
12-18-2004, 12:43 PM
seems like ripoff of history of trunks

SS4 Dark Saiyan
12-18-2004, 12:43 PM
scroll up a bit and u'll see y.

Android X
12-18-2004, 12:54 PM
Episode 2: A new Savior

Blaze stood waitinbg for he arrival of the androids he pulled out is sword and the silver blade glistened from the sun an android approched

Blaze: now that your here may i ask who you are

Strat: Well i am strat this is Buldan and Grok and we.....

Just then Blaze slammed the blade in the androids head sparks emitted from the head as it fell to the ground he looked at the other two and grok flew at him Balze rested the blade on his shoulder and waited for the android to attack the second it was about to hit blaze jumped in the air and shot a ki blast it exploded right on the android the Smoke from the blast blocked the sparks and electrcity Baulden ran up to him and punched him in the abs Baze stood there as hisabs were as hard as rock Blaze twirled the sword and sliced off the arm then he sliced off the leg oil dripped on the floor Blaze punched a hole right hrough the adroid and it clattered to the floor as more oil spilled out but Baulden made one last remark before he died

Baulden: The aster of all Changelins will come and take over he will avenge us all....

Blaze swung the blade and the head rolled out the way then Blaze put the blade away and he walked of and he saw a baren city the Andriods were killing off the humans and Blaze got an angry feeling and it burned within him at that moment a golden aura surrounded him

Author:Will Blaze make it in time to save the reamaining humans find out next tme on Dragon Ball Unlimited!

Android X
12-18-2004, 12:58 PM
you people are not understanding what im trying to say it is similar ot the trunks story yes i intended on that but the thing is in time it will be VERY diffrent from thetrunks story i just need to know im doing a good job

SS4 Dark Saiyan
12-18-2004, 01:06 PM
yeah its good. after episode 2 i expect it to get some originaltiy.

SSJ4_Truhan
12-18-2004, 03:48 PM
didnt really care for the story:o :up:

blooddemon95
12-18-2004, 04:38 PM
make the next one ur own syory plot