Things you don't wanna hear at a theme park

[JayAC]

This is just a bit of fun. Just say something you wouldn't want to hear at a theme park. It can be true or made up. :)

I'll do some:

Ride op 1: "Let's send em' round and see what happens..."
Ride op 2: "Yeah, I think it was only a few bolts..."

Random staff member: "Don't worry! Only 3 people die here every week!"

Loudspeaker: "Welcome to..... errr... wait a sec..... erm..."

[Frogpole]

"Your sitting in the seat where it happened"

[BGTB2005]

Ride op:
"You are on your way to destruction."
Or
"You have no chance to survive make your time."

[JayAC]

"Humdehumdedum..... oh no! The brakes!"

[BGTB2005]

President of the company who employed the designer of the rollercoaster:
"This ride is relatively safe, it was designed by a homeless drunk who was high on something."

[JayAC]

Loudspeaker: "Ladies and gentlemen. Do not ride if you are below 1.40 metres - if you do you will fall out of the train."
The same louspeaker on the same ride: "Ladies and gentlemen. Do not ride if you are above 1.40 metres - if you do you will get hit by a low beam."

[lakeccrunner]

"I hope that dosnt happen again, we dont want anymore lawsuites"

[Harpo]

Mechanic:

"I had a few parts left over after fixing the brakes, but I'm sure they weren't really needed."

Ride op:
"The motor's overheating, but we can still run it. The worst that'll happen is that you'll get stuck on the ride." (Note: I actually DID hear that at a park -- I proceeded to not go on that particular ride.)

[niccum_123]

Ride op:
Oops!

[Phil]

Ride op:
"You are on your way to destruction."
Or
"You have no chance to survive make your time."

Best... EVAR.

[Cyberleader]

Mechanic to ride-op on TTD:

Should be all right, but try not to go too fast because the [and then you launch]

[JayAC]

^I like that one!

[-NGS-]

Ride op who just got hired:
"I wonder what would happen if I pushed this button..."

[pnkfloyd12]

Ride op (as train is leaving the station):
Dude, I don't think you want to be sitting in that seat there. They never fixed the restraints after, you know, the "accident"!

[JayAC]

Ride op: "I hope you've all checked your restraints... we wouldn't want 'that thing' to happen again would we?"

[-NGS-]

Ride op 1:
Remember to check their restraints
Ride op 2:
Oh come on, what's the worst that could happen?

[JayAC]

Ride op: "Oh, so I'm operating the ride!"

[Cyberleader]

Lets hope it's not going another one of those days eh?

[-Nuclear Fish-]

Somebody in the queue to another person: "Isn't this that ride where sixteen people died the other week?"

[niccum_123]

Oh sh**! I mean enjoy your ride!

[JayAC]

Ride op: "Oh crap! The cops have found me!"

[Cyberleader]

Ride op: Well I pressed this button, and the funniest thing happened!

Another: What this button? (presses)

Ride op: Ah.

[JayAC]

Ride op: "Hmmm... Shall I press this button and let everybody enjoy the ride or shall I press this button and let everybody die...hehehe..."

[ZoomRocks]

"Enjoy The ride I'll be on my lunch Break, my son timmy will be in charge"

[Harpo]

"Seat belts? You don't need no stinkin' seat belts. Just hold on to the seat."

[Phil]

To another Ride-Op:

"I found this pile of screws and bolts and stuff under one of the coaster tracks..."

"Oh really *starts ride* We'll have to get the mechanic on that one."

[Olmec]

Ride op 1: where are my cheetos
Ride op 2: oh i dropped them in the hydrolics for the breaks sorry. anyway pleas keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times

OR

Ride op 1:so if i forgot to engage the breaks what happens
Ride op 2:ask the skeleton down there he knows from last year

[lakeccrunner]

"Is this the button to get the lap bars to go down? [pushes button, train starts moving up hill]

[Boston]

er... "sorry, we're closed"?

That happened once! But, I guess going to Busch Gardens during a hurricane isn't the best time to go . . . :noob:

[Small Print]

Ray Von on Pheonix Nights: "Please do not stand up on the ride, or you might die."

[JayAC]

Imagineer: "I've got a great idea for a new ride! Rowing boats in an alligator enclosure!"

[infiniteblue]

Ride mechanic to another mechanic: "Yeah, there was a loose bolt that I couldn't fix on one of the coasters, but what's the worst that could happen?"

[JayAC]

*A loud bang is heard*

Mechanic: "Oops... water and electricity don't mix do they..."

[BGTB2005]

<Heard over Queue PA System.>
Noob Mechanic:
I found a loose bolt at the bottom of the big tower thingy over there, <Points at the point in TTD where the train goes vertical.> so I took it off.
Ride op:
Uhh......
Why?
Noob Mechanic:
Because I didn't know what to do with it.
Ride op:
You were supposed to tighten it......
<Loud screams are heard, and both look in the direction of the incline.>
You idiot.
Noob Mechanic:
......
:)
Ride op:
It's your fault.
Noob Mechanic:
About what?
Ride op:
The crash.
Noob Mechanic:
What crash?
Ride op:
The one you caused by removing a bolt.
Noob Mechanic:
What bolt?
Ride op:
Oh, hello there.
<Park security arrives and takes the noob mechanic to local police station.>
Bye.
:)
Noob Mechanic:
What did I do?
Park Security:
You caused a crash by removing a bolt from the ride.
Noob Mechanic:
What ride?
Park security:
......
:bored:
Noob Mechanic:
All I know is that it goes very high up.

[JayAC]

Lots of loudspeakers around a park: "Hey everybody! It's [your name]'s birthday!

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear [your name]!
Happy Birthday to you!

Hip, Hip... Hooray!"

[Olmec]

ride op: why is there a piece of track missing from the underwater tunel
mechanic:i took it out becuase people said they wanted to see more of the uderwater area

[Chickenselects]

"Oh, that button opens the restraints..."

[Petmaster]

Ride op:"hmmm i wonder what this button does...*pushes DO NOT PUSH WHILE RIDE IS OPERATING button*..." *looks up at kumba on the loop after drop and sees people falling*

Ride op:" well maybe there should be a warning sign or something!"

[-NGS-]

Jay's is very clever.

Midway Game staff: Those suckers, the toys only last 2 hours before exploding.

[CommanderLock]

Ride Op (TTD, Kingda Ka):Uhh, the cable was making these WEIRD noises this morning...but it's fine, I'm sure! :D Nevermind mechanic!

*train launches, cable snaps when about to pass over walkway*

Ride Op: Suckers! :p *cue screams and blood and various noises*

-------
Ride Op: Are you SURE this ain't the self-destruct button?
-------
'Gangsta' Ride Op(after a crash):It wasn't written in MY language, foo`!
-------
(IF YOU WORK AT SIX FLAGS, READ NO FURTHER!)
A Six Flags ride op replaces a Cedar Point ride op for a few minutes...
SF Op(MF):Eh, as long as I'M here, no one will get hurt! Oh, and the cable's a bit weak today...oh, well!
*cable brings train up to top, then snaps*
SF Op: OH, SONUVA-!
*falling train slams into train that is loading*
At this moment, the CP ride op comes back...
CP Op: WTF?!?!?!
SF Op:Uhhh...opps?
CP Op:...*****.

[TrevorD]

new supervisor talking to a ride operator upon arival of an empty car:
"well that didnt work, try a diffrent button..."

[Olmec]

New ride op:now where did i put the instructions oh well i can deal without them

[fathorse]

"Welcome to Six Flags"

And that annoying song by the Venga Boys.

'Nuff said.

[Pate]

(Guest to a ride op) I liked the fake part when we nearly felt into the hole!!"
(Ride op): Which hole??

[bowler4ever]

SFNE's Superman: ROS Loudspeaker: Welcome to Superman: Ride of Death...er...Steel :D

[Pate]

(continued)

guest:And where the shark nearly ate us!!
ride op:Which shark???!!!

[CommanderLock]

Ride Op(working TOGO coaster):Enjoy your ride on the TOGO Death Machine...*waves goodbye as the train leaves with a group of horrifed victims/riders*
When the train comes back, one guest exits, groaning in pain.
Guest: Why, TOGO, WHY?!?
Ride Op:Hey, it's TOGO, whaddya expect?

[MattNW]

Park admin: That's why we have insurance.


Just go easy on the brakes, I'll have someone look at it after we close.

[Pate]

"The 80% discount doesn't have anything related to the "accident"

-----
(guest on a roller coaster train, after the ride)"That was sooo cool, mom!! ...Mom?? MOM???!!"
-----
"Welcome to neverland!!!"

[niccum_123]

Person 1: wanna here a song
Person 2: sure
Person 1: I know a song that everybody knows every body know every body knows I know a song that everybody knows and this is how it goesI know a song that everybody knows every body know every body knows I know a song that everybody knows and this is how it goesI know a song that everybody knows every body know every body knows I know a song that everybody knows and this is how it goesI know a song that everybody knows every body know every body knows I know a song that everybody knows and this is how it goes...

One hour later
...I know a song that everybody knows every body know every body knows I know a song that everybody knows and this is how it goesI know a song that everybody knows every body know every body knows I know a song that everybody knows and this is how it goes...

[Dormouse]

TRUE STORY

It happened on a trip to Six Flags Over Texas. It had rained all day until then, and they finally opened up the major rides. We ran straight towards Titan and got in line. We waited about 50 minutes and we were finally going to be the next ones to get on after the people in front of us.

They opened up the gates and the people in front of us entered the cars. The gates shut. Suddenly there was a humongous flash of lightning that was extremely close to the ride. The thunder boomed and everybody in the loading building screamed and shouted.

After it quieted down the ride op came over the speaker and said:

"Sorry about the inconvenience folks but due to the weather we are going to have to shut down Titan until further notice. Please enjoy the rest of your stay here at SFOT"

*CLICK* (hits button that dispatches train with all of those people on it.)

I was actually more angry that those people still got to ride than I was surprised that he still hit the button...

[BGTB2005]

Ride op:
I wonder what these buttons do......
<Pushes random buttons, unaware that the park's PA system was turned on before the random button pushing.>
This is fun......
I could do this all day......
<Ride makes groaning noises.>
What was that?
Oh well......
<Riders scream with pain and fear.>
Wha?
<Ride falls apart, and Ride op gets taken out by a seat.>
Ow......
<A crowd gathers around the ride.>
Park official:
What happened here?
Random person:
The ride op pushed some buttons.
Park official:
Where is he?
Another random person:
Under one of the seats.
<Ride op crawls out from under the seat.>
Ride op:
What happened?
Park official:
You're fired, that's what.
Ride op:
What did I do?
Park official:
Look!
<Points at broken ride.>
Ride op:
How did that happen?
Park official:
Why were you pushing buttons on the control panel?
Ride op:
I was wondering what they did.
Park official:
Just......
Get out of here, now!
<Ride op gets carried to hospital by helicopter.>

[Chickenselects]

"Please keep hands and feet inside the train at all times, and we are ready....wait no we aren't"

[Harpo]

"Launching in 3 - [whoosh!] - 2 - 1 -- uh, oops."

[JayAC]

*a coaster crashes on it's first test run*

Ride op: "Well that didn't work too well..... maybe we should try it with the wheels connected to the track next time..."

[Frogpole]

"...And to make your ride on the River Rapids more memorable, we've replaced the water with liquidised pig afterbirth".



"Please keep your arms inside the train.....and the first one of you who screams will be shot".

[Pate]

"Come here and share your bed with the park manager Mike. Share your bed is the most lovely thing you can do..."
----
"Sorry there aren't more soarin' fastpass"
Crap, I didn't ride soarin' last time :(

[bowler4ever]

This ride has failed its last 5 inspections :D

[BoRJoYZeE]

*Ride OP*

"Wtf?..?....!..."

[lakeccrunner]

Dont worry, the ride has only crashed a couple dozen times in the last couple years, wait was that years or months, or was it weeks? I dont remember, HEY what does thi button do?!?!

[Pate]

"The 99% of the times that we ride the rides, they work very well. Actually we have ridden them 99 times, so I think there's no danger..."

[Olmec]

"hear ride op after leaving station"

OMG what did those vandils DO

[Jerr_Oen]

While sitting in a coaster ready for take-off.

* Mechanic: "Fix it? With my wages, ha! I'll give it a good kick, f'*** them."
* Mechanic: "Like that would help! Just try to ignore the flahsing red lights."
* Ride Op 1 to Op 2: "Are these purple pills yours or mine?"
* Ride Op: "Wait a minute... is this in miles per hour!?" ... [Launched]
* Staff Member: "Excuse me, have you perhaps seen a finger in this seat?"

[Matandmel05]

Ride Op: "Any single riders in the que?"
You: "Yes, me!"
Ride Op: "Come up front, please?"
"Sit next next to this guy with the black robe and sickle"

[Chickenselects]

Ride Op:The last time this ride crashed was a year ago, and it was my fault.
Rider: When did you last operate it?
Ride Op: A year ago... What?

[Zonga]

Disney Ride Op:

"Ooo, well, at least we have good lawyers."

[Phil]

"I hope these guys don't sue us, cos we have crap lawyers!"

[pnkfloyd12]

PA Announcement:
The ride will start again in just a few minutes. We are just finishing up cleaning the blood from the train after that last run.

[niccum_123]

"If the ride crashes and you die a horrible death please tell us imidiately we wil sort it all out." I actually heard that on vortex at Paramounts kings island. The restraint weren't working on certain cars but they continued to let people ride in them. It was AWESOME! of corse they had a clamp for those restraints to hold them down. The safty brakes failed earlier that day so we flew throught the corkscrews and the g forces in the butterfly loop were very forceful. i couldn't breathat the bottom. Id say that was my favorite ride of the day.

[Galaxylander]

Operator: "OOOOOoooh whats this flashing button do?"
Ride: "SELF DESTRUCT IN 5, 4, 3, 2 , 1..."

[Zonga]

"geez, I've never seen that light flash, whatever, Dispatch: Enjoy your ride"

[JayAC]

Ride op: "Yeah, Final Destination 3 rocks!"

[Pate]

Park inspector: "Whoa, those fake skulls at the Dueling Dragons queue are awesome!!"
Park manager: "Hum..yeah, f-f-fake skulls..."

[-Nuclear Fish-]

Ride op: "Yeah, Final Destination 3 rocks!"

Best so far...

[Pate]

Loudspeakers: "The owner of an arm with large nails, with a finger missing and some blood on it, please report to the lost and found objects center, please..."

[niccum_123]

Ride Op: Enjoy your ride on T2 at Kentucky Kingdom

[hpprinter]

Sign in front of Kingda Ka:
http://www.amusementpics.com/KK/051705-060.jpg
People at station: Yep another didn't make it to the top. Yep there they go, the brakes failed. (Train comes roaring into the station and smashes into a different train.)

[Olmec]

really it happend to me on the hypersonic exc they want it to go over the hill perfectly and sometimes part of the lauch doesnt work so it loses some but enough not to make it go over the hill

[niccum_123]

I think you meen Hypersonic XLC


Ride op: welcome back to... wait is is everybody ooh well. for those of you boarding please stay clear of the gates thats opening...

[Olmec]

yeah

[JayAC]

Ride op 1: "The chances of this coaster crashing are 1 in 250 billion."
Ride op 2: "The chances of this coaster crashing when you're at the controls are 1 in 2."

[george b]

Ride op 1:(while fastening you in)"i'm having a bad day!"
or
p.a:after sometesting we are have relunctently reopened the ride

[evilwhiterice]

"Didn't you ever see National Lampoon's Vacation? These rides run by themselves!"

[washingmachine]

"please keep your arms and legs in the train at all times"
in spanish:"we are not liable for your deth on this coaster"

[Olmec]

Manager:So what did you do befor you came here
Ride op:I was a paiyient at the insane isilome i managed to get out im sure they dont miss me much
Manager:well beggers cant be chosers your hired

[bowler4ever]

Drunk Ride Op: Herro Every*hic*body and rercomb trro Krinde Kra *hic* Bye. *launches at 170mph killing everyone on the ride in an instant*

[SHERBERTRCT]

park maneger annoncment on the oblivion at alton towers : " just to let u now that trainies will be operating the ride today thanku "

me : :eek:

[BGTB2005]

Noob park official:
What does this button do?
<Pushes button.>
Pre-rocorded voice on PA System:
The park is now under 168 hour lockdown.
All rides and food and drink services have been shut down.
Please enjoy your stay at Cedar Point.
Noob park official:
......
:confused:
It wasn't me! :cry:

[hpprinter]

Park Inspector: This new coaster works really well with the spooky theming for our Halloween special! Especially the fake train in the water and fake corpse's floating around!

Park Manager: Yah F-F-Fake...

[Kylr23stwinsis]

"After the brake Failure yesterday ,We had to shut down the ride for a cople hours to get it fixed!
Op:2When did we get it fixed?
We Didn't, The Machanics are on strike!"
ops 2: What about the brakes then?
Well, These same people have been going on the ride for about 24 hours now, but if we dont tell anyone else, then the people in line wont know a thing!"

[DrctBoy]

Person 1: Is this ride safe?
Operator: Yep.
Phone Rings, Operator picks it up, talks behind the Person's back, then hangs up.
Operator: Safest ride in the world.
Train explodes down the track.
Person 1: You lied!
Operator: Thank you for visting Cedar Point, America's Roller Coast.

[Pate]

Guest: "What?? Highest ride in the world?? Let's see if it is the highest one!!"
At the Launch, the car shoots at the sky, with no track under it, at 300 mph

[DrctBoy]

Something you wouldn't want to hear at Epcot...
Person: Is Spaceship Earth Supose to be on the ground?
Disney Cast Member: Yes, wait a minute... Oh my gosh! Run for your lives! Spaceship Earth is rolling toward us!

[Pate]

^HAHA good one!!
At test track: "Hey wait, this is the fake part where we nearly crash to the wall!!

The car crashed to the wall, and everybody died.

[aennilQ]

"Are the gardeners done weeding the beds under the inline twist?"

"Too late... well, it has been 1/2 an hour"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Is it bad that the floor is up, and the floorless train is coming in to the station?"

[JayAC]

Ride op: "Errr... has anybody had any premonitions around here? Just wondering..... "

[RCToThe3]

About To ride KK:

Ride Operator:The restaints aren't working.
Mechanic: They'll be fine, it only launches at 121 mph and goes 456 feet high.

[Cyberleader]

I'm sure you heart condition will not be aggravated by Kingda Ka

[JayAC]

Ride op 1: "Hey! Theres a mechanic on the track over there! Lets launch the train, that'll get him off quick!"
Ride op 2: "No, wai......"

*train launches*

*train returns back to station with riders covered in blood and body parts*

Rider: "WE HIT THE GUY ON THE TRACK!!!"

Ride op 1: "Yeah, errr..... just get off now."

*Riders get off and new riders board the train*

Ride op 1: "Hey! The park owner is on the track!"
Ride op 2: "NO!!!"

You know what happens next.....

[DaGoner]

Sometimes the worse thing is when they dont say anything :P. While i was queueing for Stealth it went to the fourth light and the train had started to move back, then the restraints opened, and the ride operator wasnt saying a thing, while everyone was screaming!

Anyways

Ride Op : In case of restraint failure, please try to land on the park inspector!

Ride Op : This is a staff announcement, can the coroner please come to Stealth

Ride Op : [Sends rollercoaster]Hey that's a great illusion, it looks just like a part of the tracks missing.
Engineer : Oo yeah knew there was something i forgot to do!

[CommanderLock]

Another Cedar Fair/Six Flags joke...

Jr. Gemini CF Ride Op sends off a train full of happy riders to the lift, then the train stops at the top. The little kiddies start trying to get off, but the restraints hold them down.
A SF ride op decides to take over for the CF ride op while he tries to get the chain lift working again.

SF Op: Okay, kids! Just lemme press this button `ere...
*CLICK*
The train continues its course, but when it gets back to the station, the CF ride op sees the brakes actually do the reverse, speeding up the trains.
CF Op: THAT'S THE "100 LOOPS" BUTTON, YOU FOOL!
Kiddies: *various crying noises*

Now for a TTD joke. So a bunch of REALLY fat men get in line. Various healthy riders look at them from the launch track and the lines. When they get to the train...
Ride Op: I'm sorry, but you're too fat-I mean too heavy to ride-I mean...aw, forget it.:bored:
The fat men get on and the ride goes off at normal speed. Just before the ride launches, the ride op yells:
"I'm sorry, but anyone that bulges over the side of the TTD cars MUST have a heart attack! SUPER-CHARGE THE CABLE, MECHANIC!"
I think we all know what happens next.

[lakeccrunner]

"Yeah the Breaking system has been failing lately, it might work it mihgt not, lets just send the train of people around and see what happens, the worst thing that can happen is they come around that bend at 120 mph and smash into the other trains..."

[Olmec]

Ride Op: Dispatch... Ah ****

[rctmaniac]

Ride Mechaniac (New): Yeh..it was a lose bolt-whats the worst that could happen?
*Train Leaves Station*

Probably had that before lol

[poekie1337]

after a hour of waiting, you finnaly sit in the front seat of TTD...
the car rolls a bit foreward... you can hear the a sound of a car going like : wroom, wroomm,.. Wroooom...
"are you ready for the higherst and fastest coaster in the world?,... are you ready for: Top ... Thrill... Dragster..!
your hands are sweating... your hart beats like it's going to pop....


"arms down..."
.
.
.
.

"arms down"









"arms down"






"this park is going to close now, have a nice day!"
car rolles back to the station and you get out.

[lakeccrunner]

On a brand new invert...

Ride op: "Call the paramedics and have the mechanics go fetch their legs, I told you we should have tested them with dummies that had legs!"

[hotroddude]

Ride Mechaniac (New): Yeh..it was a lose bolt-whats the worst that could happen?
*Train Leaves Station*

Probably had that before lol


lol. that happened at disney land on big thunder mountain a few years ago if i remember correctly.


Ride op in training: their they go now lets let the next people in the train...
old ride op: ok third button on the left.
ride op in training: third to the right? okay.
old ride op: NO! wait thats the...
( wheels fall off the coaster train going past the swimming pool )

past experiance shows what happens to flying wheels near water parks...

[JayAC]

*coaster train travels up lift hill*

Small girl: "Mommy, what would happen if a piece of the coasters track was missing?"
Mommy: "The train would derail and everybody might get killed. Why do you ask that?"
Small girl: "Look over there..."

[Frogpole]

"I'm going out in a blaze of glory.....and I'm taking you all with me"

[Jester_GCR]

Getting into a Log Flume:
Ops: "Don't mind the yellow water and the ,Um, Baby Ruths, We've cutting costs on our sewer bill.":weird:

Or
Don't mind the wet seat. The person before you had a slight bladder control problem. It will dry up before you know it.

[Crowheart]

"Welcome to Disney's California Adventure"

[DrctBoy]

"Welcome to Nara Dreamland!"
Then everyone runs away.

[aSiaNpRiDe22]

Ride Op:
"Is that red light supposed to flash like that? Oh well."

[Frogpole]

"We're running low on burgers - should I open another tub of pig's afterbirth?"

[TheSkipper]

Frogpole, two reports now from you have been concerning sigs too long. In both instances I see only five lines at 1024 x 768 resolution. that's Atari's guide. What is your resolution?

[gigafreak30]

on Great American Scream machine
"restraints? what ever happened to the good ol' days of centrifugal force?"

flight of fear:
ride op: I spilt my mountain dew™ allover the control panel.

Ride op 2: I see a message that says do not launch; restraints broken, water in lim's internal components.

Ride op 1: Meh, I never listen to those things when I didnt listen only 14 were traumatized... 2 died, and a fish ate a peble"

Ride op 2: *presses buttons to launch* *building catches fire; riders are thrown headfirst into the ground.

on titan:

"is he dead yet?"

at a food stand:
eat this monkey heart. the only symptom you could get is ebola and it would only ruin your life.

[Frogpole]

Frogpole, two reports now from you have been concerning sigs too long. In both instances I see only five lines at 1024 x 768 resolution. that's Atari's guide. What is your resolution?

1024x768.

SURELY you're counting blank lines in the total, right?

[Olmec]

yeah he did that to me too

but rules are rules

no offense skipper

i was at busch gardens yesterday and on the back of the big bad wolf(on a rollercoaster i say the back is faster) and at the end i heard a bolt fall on the concrete.

[Frogpole]

yeah he did that to me too

but rules are rules

no offense skipper


I'm just doing what I was told to in this very forum. And your sig was ridiculously long - and you know it.

[Olmec]

i had accidently copy pasted a post i made when i was only trying to do one sentence and i didnt notice

[Jester_GCR]

Park owner: "To help the community we will be hiring the drunken homeless to run the rides, and convicted sex offenders as the theme characters."

[DrctBoy]

^Good one! OMG! Bugs bunny is chasing me! Get off me you crazy person!

[JayAC]

^I had an encounter like that with Pluto at Disneyland Paris... Oh boy, did I wanna thump him one!

[Jester_GCR]

^Good one! OMG! Bugs bunny is chasing me! Get off me you crazy person!


Bugs:" What's UP doc?"

[bowler4ever]

Bugs:" What's UP doc?"
I almost crapped my pants when I read that! :haha::up:

[DrctBoy]

OUCH! Nice one!

[hpprinter]

On a sitdown coaster: DO NOT STAND UP
On a standup coaster: DO NOT SIT DOWN

----------------------------------------

Person: Thank God! I thought we were never going to get on Storm Runner!
Op: Turns on the little wheels between the track. (Are they called friction wheels?)
Person: Why are we sinking?!
Op: Crap not again!
The rubber has fell off the wheels and the sharp metal has destroyed the train and the people.
Person's head landed on control panel: Son of a! (Dead)
Op throws head in pile of heads.

[Kylr23stwinsis]

This happened to Kyle and I yesterday

Waiting in line for the bumper cars and as the load before us are exiting a part fell off a car, So the guy ran and got help from another operater, That operater ran and got another operater, so theres 3 of them and there all like "What are we going to do!?" So the main operater talks to the other to operaters and goes

"IF WE TURN ON THIS MACHINE IT WILL CATCH ON FIRE"

Yeah,,,like everyone wanted to hear that XD Lets just say, alot of people got out of line, We stayed in line, and everything was fine :P

[Frogpole]

I can't believe I didn't add this one earlier:


AAAIIIEEEEEE!!!! The giant squid - she no longer responds to mind control!!!

[sr3d]

Ride OP: "That giant loop with the gap just fallen out the middle looks safe even tho the riders in the set before just crashed into the track o well" *sends riders off*
Riders:"LEt us off!"
*sound of snapping restrains as the riders jump out the moving coaster only for 1 person to get their leg stuck under a wheel*

[JayAC]

TRUE STORY!!! :D

*Whilst queuing for Tower of Terror at MGM*

Small boy to his father: "Is this ride scary?"
Father: "Errr... No. This is just the hotel we're staying in."

*We enter the library and watch the pre-show, then we exit into the boiler room*

Small boy: "Are we going in the elevator"
Father: "Yeah, it's gonna take us to our rooms."

*The father looks at me and chuckles*
*We board the elevator and the ride starts*

Small boy: "Why do we have to wear seatbelts?"
Father: "Safety."

*Elevator travels through the scenes and then stops in the shaft, ready to drop*

Small boy: "Are we at our room now?"

*Before the father could answer, the elevator starts speeding up and down*

I kind of felt sorry for the kid, but what I found funny was that the boy was more scared of the loud noises than the ride going up and down faster than gravity! He had his hands over his ears throughout the whole ride!

Then we got off and I bought the on-ride photo.

[rct3phreak]

Mechanic to Ride-Op: I just got done revamping the trains, but for some reson I had a few spare parts left over. They included some bolts, a few restraints, a few wheels, nothing major.

[kylr23]

opps the breaks are brken i guss we have to send them twice


THERES A BOOMB ON A COASTER IF IF STOPS PEOPLE WILL DIE it was a stink bomb:p

[Olmec]

On a sitdown coaster: DO NOT STAND UP
On a standup coaster: DO NOT SIT DOWN

----------------------------------------

Person: Thank God! I thought we were never going to get on Storm Runner!
Op: Turns on the little wheels between the track. (Are they called friction wheels?)
Person: Why are we sinking?!
Op: Crap not again!
The rubber has fell off the wheels and the sharp metal has destroyed the train and the people.
Person's head landed on control panel: Son of a! (Dead)
Op throws head in pile of heads.

i thought that rollercoaster wheels didnt have rubber on them

i think the black is a protective coating not rubber at least thats what i think

[coinich]

TRUE STORY!!! :D

*Whilst queuing for Tower of Terror at MGM*

Small boy to his father: "Is this ride scary?"
Father: "Errr... No. This is just the hotel we're staying in."

*We enter the library and watch the pre-show, then we exit into the boiler room*

Small boy: "Are we going in the elevator"
Father: "Yeah, it's gonna take us to our rooms."

*The father looks at me and chuckles*
*We board the elevator and the ride starts*

Small boy: "Why do we have to wear seatbelts?"
Father: "Safety."

*Elevator travels through the scenes and then stops in the shaft, ready to drop*

Small boy: "Are we at our room now?"

*Before the father could answer, the elevator starts speeding up and down*

I kind of felt sorry for the kid, but what I found funny was that the boy was more scared of the loud noises than the ride going up and down faster than gravity! He had his hands over his ears throughout the whole ride!

Then we got off and I bought the on-ride photo.

Reminds me of my last trip to Orlando MGM... This one girl (highschooler) was playing reluctant to go on the ride, but she was laughing the entire time. We thought she was only kidding. Even after we actually picked her up and put her on the ride. When we got off, we found she wasn't kidding!:haha: :haha:

Things I don't want to hear:

Oops. We're out of food. I guess we will have to substitiute micdonalds.

[Frogpole]

"We've mixed up extra vomit and liquidised pig's afterbirth to spray from the cameras so we'll get some more interesting onride photos".

[Olmec]

Ride op for the avalaunch at Kings dominion talking to ride mechanic

mechanic: even though it was downgraded to a tropical depreesion it took out one of the hills on the ride

ride op: it should make the jump most of the time

later that morning park manager comes to the ride mechanic

we are hosting the area wait watchers convention so we will most likely be haveing some problems with the restraints and this is one of the few rides they can fit comfortably in. well unless the line gets long thell have to squeeze in. Dont worry weve tested the ride using anvils thell make it over the hills just not that fast.


Ride Op: dispatch

[Jester_GCR]

OPs on the phone"What do you mean the coroner won't come out untill we pay last months bill?"

[bowler4ever]

Scream @ SFNE:
Manager: Gonna let them down?
Op: Nah, I like to watch them wet their pants while waiting and lose consciousness :)

[Olmec]

Inspector: What is that thing tied to the monorail track and squarming around

Ride Op: uhh um you see... a giant worm we captured him and we cant uh get him because he is uh squirming around to much.

[coinich]

Olmec talk.







jk.

[Frogpole]

The sound of German Hiphop.

[Olmec]

Olmec talk.







jk.

:haha:

[kylr23]

what dose brake falieure mean?

man:ok lets go
rides1:have you done this befor
man:no but i stayed at a holiday inn:
every one: let me off

[Frogpole]

"By riding this coaster, you have converted to the Church of Scientology".

[Olmec]

if you can hear me you wont be able to when you get back

[Frogpole]

"I'm your pro bono lawyer. Now, before we can discuss your case, I have to put you in an armlock and pin you to the hood of a car".

[Small Print]

"I'm your pro bono lawyer. Now, before we can discuss your case, I have to put you in an armlock and pin you to the hood of a car".

:haha: Best one yet.

[Olmec]

(explosion)

Peep:what was that

Ride op: they are blasting some rock away from one of the mountains right next to you.(looks up and runs away)

[-Nuclear Fish-]

Some actual ones I heard today at Alton Towers:

- Ride op on Nemesis as it starts to rain: "Although Nemesis will remain open, the bad weather conditions may make the ride uncomfortable" Just the sort of thing you want to hear as you're getting on...

- Ride op on Air, as I was in the queue: "Unfortunatley Air is experiencing technical difficulties with one of the trains, so we are going to take one of the trains off and have only two running. This should take approximately 5 to 10 minutes" Quite annoying seeing as with only two trains loading times were much longer, so we were waiting in the queue for ages...

- Announcement on Rita (just as we were about to go on): "Atention all riders: Rita is experiencing technical difficulties. We are currently working as quickly as we can to fix the ride." Strange thing was all the ride operators (all six of them) were just standing there talking for ten minutes doing nothing. Then this mechanic went in the control box, and pressed one button. But there were already people on the train, so instead of testing it they just let it go! I'm sure the mechanic must have said something like "Oh, just try it, it'll be fine.."

[niccum_123]

Before we leave lets catch a ride on the Corkscrew.

[Small Print]

I heard the Nemesis one several times. However, they forget to mention that Nemesis in the rain is far more fun!

[JayAC]

At Blackpool Pleasure Beach:

*The Pepsi Max Big One crashes, killing everyone on board*

*Someone puts some coins into "The World Famous Laughing Man" machine*

WOOOOHAHAHAHA....RAHAHAHOOOHHHHHHHEEE (etc.)

[SCAREcrow22]

You're waiting in line for the scariest, most intense ride at the park when you hear some people in front of you conversing...

"That? Oh, that's not going to happen again."
"How do you know? It's happened, like, 5 times this week!"
"Well, lets hope it happens to the people behind us."

OR

*Loudspeakers* "Hey, [park name] guests! How'd you like to be part of a new movie? Hurry on down to the screaminator to be an extra in 'Final Destination 3'"!

[immeldude]

RIDE OP:Is the bomb in place?

[live_the_thrill]

True story on Wicked Twister:

My dad and I were about to board when all of a sudden it broke down. So we decided to wait as we were going to be first in line. The mechanic comes, abd they test the brakes above the car, move it out and back in, usual stuff. Then all of a sudden sparks flew from the brakes above our seats, so we both decided to leave the queue and come back later.

Only got to ride it once :(

[chop meat]

(waiting in line for ferris wheel) Swat team: He's headed for the ferris wheel
________________________
Park security: Your under arrest.
________________________
Ride op #1: Remember the last time you did that
Ride op #2: Well it is to late now.
_________________________
(eating chili dog bye chili dog stand) Health Inspector: I'm sorry sir but your gonna have to close your stand

[Olmec]

Person working at food place:the water isnt running
(toilet flushes in the bathroom next door)
Oh well its working now

[chop meat]

Ride op: Duck!
_______________
Theme park worker at infirmary: It's a girl. lol i like that one.

[Olmec]

!
_______________
Theme park worker at infirmary: It's a girl. lol i like that one.
It could be worse...

Them park worker: Its a boy, Wait no its a man.

[BGTB2005]

Ride Op:
Do'h!

[kylr23]

hows this one:P
http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/2636/dontyw0.jpg

[Olmec]

Incoming!

[bowler4ever]

Hmmmmm, the blue button or the red...

[chop meat]

ride op: Dang game boy bateries died oh well I still got my ds.

[Jonny Watts]

"Attention passengers of California Screamin', we have encountered a slight delay. Please remai seated"
Dumb op:
Hey, they should go now!
Smart op:
But it's still full....
Dumb op:
Nonsense!
*hits enter station button*
Smart op:
Not good, not good.
EMERGENCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Hits dispatch button to be saved (The restraints aren't closed yet)*
"Get ready Scre..... Please pull down your (train launces) FORGET THAT"
Smart op:
Hey some people fell out.
We should stop the ride.
Dumb op:
Nonsense!
"Launch in 5-4-3-2-1"
*Screaming, tumbling, and painful sounds*
Smart Op:
Not good, not good.
Dumb op:
What just happend?
Smart op:
You need lessons, and lots of them.
*Drops his cellphone on the track*
Smart op:
Oh crap
Can I use your phone?
Dumb op:
no
Smart op:
Then now how can I get help?
Dumb op:
fine
*drops his cellphone on track*
Didn't do it! :confused:
Dumb op:
I'll get my son to op it and let's use the pay phone.
Smart op:
Just don't say another crazy word...

[kylr23]

dont rase the dead please

[Crowheart]

A zombie!

Shoot it in the head!..

:bored:

[biogal]

Ack! Necrothreadia! http://bestsmileys.com/dead/7.gif

[TheSkipper]

dont rase the dead please

Do NOT try to be a mod! Thank you for your kind attention.......

Overheard: "Please leave the queue line, THIS ride is permanently closed.."