Are you fat? Do diets not work? I have the solution for you.

[ImAnOgre]

Yes, that's right folks. I have a solution that's quaranteed to work.

Tell me more you say. Well, I can't say it quite as good as others... so, here's just a little taste:



EAT! EAT! EAT! & always stay thin!




So, enticed? Well, search no more as Ogre has found the perfect diet for all of you.


I present you: (note, this is an actual diet)

ImAnOgre's Super Diet (http://www.tapewormdiet.net/)















I don't want to post more then that. But after reading this site, and the FAQ's I can't believe people are stupid enough to do this diet.... although it's pretty much guaranteed to work.

[DecoyMilk]

I haven't looked, but I'm assuming you purposefully insert a tapeworm into your system so it will eat everything you consume

[Nessus]

This is what opera singers et al did in the 1920's.

[DecoyMilk]

1 pound a week? I could **** out one pound in a week

[Nessus]

Yeah, we didn't really need to know that, sweetie

[Agent 47]

Disgusting.

[pedxing]

i've thought for a while about this idea... i wonder if the worms could be genetically manipulated, not to lay eggs?

that would be the big thing, for me... preventing unintended downstream infections.

also, no creeping down my intestines and poking its head out take a look around. :mad:

the other day my boy and i were hanging out on my bed, and the cat came up, and did its usual "look at my butt!" and we watched in horror as a worm peeked out for a visit.

which reminds me, it's been two weeks, time to shove another pill down his gullet. :mad:

[buddy50]

It's like a good plan to me...

[']['ear]

I thought there were potentially serious consequences of tapeworm infection?

[BalticSailor]

['ear;10014072"]I thought there were potentially serious consequences of tapeworm infection?

Yeah, but just think how THIN (and therefore automatically good-looking) you'll be at your funeral!

[pedxing]

['ear;10014072"]I thought there were potentially serious consequences of tapeworm infection?
i read through the link, and it claims that it all depends on the type of worm.

in the case of the beef tapeworm, not nearly so much as the worms one can get from pork.

also, the instructions are to kill the worm when it gets old enough to start producing eggs, which is apparently the point where the really annoying side effects kick in.

[Dreadnaught]

How do you kill a tapeworm if it's inside of you? Drink antifreeze?

[RandBlade]

I assume you'd need to take pills but they take a while to work I thought, seems a very stupid thing to do. What's wrong with good old fashioned "eat less, exercise more." Its the only true "diet."

[pedxing]

How do you kill a tapeworm if it's inside of you? Drink antifreeze?

simple: eat a pill that kills the worm.

part of the program is, after you infect yourself, you tell your doctor what you've done, and they give you the de-worming pill.

to make the "diet" work, you just wait to take the pill until right before your little friend starts laying eggs.

easy.

if you are one of my cats, on the other hand, and will not eat the treat that the pill is in, or eat around the pill, then i wrap you up in a towel, hold you upside down, pry your mouth open, pop the pill into the back of your mouth, squeeze your mouth shut, blow in your face, and rub your neck until it looks like you've swallowed it...

then i follow you around for 10 minutes, until you spit it back out, when you think i'm not looking, and then we do the whole thing over again until you take your damn medicine for real! :mad:

[Nessus]

In developing countries, you usually find an opening where the tapeworm is peeking through, and start rolling it up. Sometimes this process takes weeks, and Finagle forbid you break the lil'******* during. I dunno what antifreeze would do, that's what desperate hobos drink to get their groove back on.

[ImAnOgre]

I assume you'd need to take pills but they take a while to work I thought, seems a very stupid thing to do. What's wrong with good old fashioned "eat less, exercise more." Its the only true "diet."

Most people are lazy. Exercising is for those who aren't lazy.

[golo10]

But for losing weight, most people would like to do exercises. I have my own way, I follow this book - The UltraSimple Diet (DIEDIEDADSPAM): Kick-Start Your Metabolism and Safely Lose Up to 10 Pounds in 7 Days, It includes precise instructions for what foods to eat, what foods to avoid, recipes, supplements, and stress reduction--exercise is optional. Really effective for me.

[supermarioman]

I knew diet ad-spam was on the way.:(

[Dreadnaught]

Wow, he slipped under the radar for quite some time...

[Rtoups]

Intruder alert!

[ImAnOgre]

Wow, he slipped under the radar for quite some time...


But his other post weren't diet related. Why the instaban? Not questioning your decision Dread as I hold what you do in he highest regard, but he's obviously not a bot.

I mean, in a literal sense, this thread here could be considered adspam right? (although I'm sure most people knew I intended that it was a joke)

[Dreadnaught]

He had a dynamic IP from China. More importantly, it turns out he posted links in other threads. All the links he posted were to the same site with a referral ID. He may not have been a bot, but he was hunting the forums for relevant threads to paste links with his referral ID.

[DarkWraith]

But his other post weren't diet related. Why the instaban? Not questioning your decision Dread as I hold what you do in he highest regard, but he's obviously not a bot.

I mean, in a literal sense, this thread here could be considered adspam right? (although I'm sure most people knew I intended that it was a joke) It's a common spamming tactic to get people to pay more attention and be less hasty with the instaban. They make a handful of non-spam posts, and then drop the spam. We've seen it here before. The instaban was well deserved.

[Widows Peak Oz]

Every time I see 'tapeworm', I think 3 Stooges.

[Ziggy Stardust]

How do you kill a tapeworm if it's inside of you? Drink antifreeze?I had a teacher who told the same story about this every year.

It included a steak, him squating over it and a friend with a baseballbat making steaksounds.

[ImAnOgre]

He had a dynamic IP from China. More importantly, it turns out he posted links in other threads. All the links he posted were to the same site with a referral ID. He may not have been a bot, but he was hunting the forums for relevant threads to paste links with his referral ID.

It's a common spamming tactic to get people to pay more attention and be less hasty with the instaban. They make a handful of non-spam posts, and then drop the spam. We've seen it here before. The instaban was well deserved.


Thanks, makes so much more sense now.

Anything to make a buck I guess.

[Widows Peak Oz]

........knuck if you buck??

[Nessus]

Starbuck buck buck

[Ominous Gamer]

As for the question of killing a tapeworm, its as easy as a single pill I do believe. My cats would get them every once and a while. A $5 pill changes the pH balance of their insides for a few days, which kills everything bad living inside them.

You ain't going to find me on this diet, I've lost 5 pounds in about 2 weeks since wifey moved in. :( Cutting caffeine out of your diet really changes your eating habits.

[ImAnOgre]

As for the question of killing a tapeworm, its as easy as a single pill I do believe. My cats would get them every once and a while. A $5 pill changes the pH balance of their insides for a few days, which kills everything bad living inside them.

You ain't going to find me on this diet, I've lost 5 pounds in about 2 weeks since wifey moved in. :( Cutting caffeine out of your diet really changes your eating habits.

Eating more fish?

[Timbuk2]

making steaksounds.

:haha:

What?

:haha:

Man that's so freakingly bizarrely hilarious.

[Minx]

Hey, Randblade: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diphyllobothrium_latum

Long live thread integration! :downcast:

[pedxing]

You ain't going to find me on this diet, I've lost 5 pounds in about 2 weeks since wifey moved in. :(
in 50 years, OG is going to be one of those little old men who has to drink a glass of buttermilk with every meal, to keep from evaporating. :haha:

[Ominous Gamer]

Eating more fish?

:haha:
Not as much as I wish. Someone's boyfriend keeps spending the night every chance he gets. Messes up our schedule :mad:

in 50 years, OG is going to be one of those little old men who has to drink a glass of buttermilk with every meal, to keep from evaporating. :haha:

I'm hoping my metabolism slows down by the time I'm 50. :(

[AR81]

If you have problems with fat, this video could be interesting for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQv1JBZ197Q
Paul McKenna will make you thin...

[ImAnOgre]

:haha:
Not as much as I wish. Someone's boyfriend keeps spending the night every chance he gets. Messes up our schedule :mad:


Oh... she's paying rent, and she's paying rent. A true no strings relationship..... you gotta love those.


Go 'head on with yo big self playa. :)