A public apology

[']['ear]

I sent this to a CC friend yesterday. I decided to share it with everybody. I deleted some minor points to protect my privacy.

Nice and dramatic. I'm sure we'll have one of our mini soap operas here.

I am a lying jackass, and I feel terrible about it. It bothers me frequently, and pretty much every time I post here in CC.

I was originally Wormboy (kudos to the impressive memory of Loki!). That was my original account name. For reasons I can't really remember, I had a second account as ']['ear before I even started posting in CC. But for some reason I stopped posting as Wormboy a long time ago, and instead posted as ']['ear. Both are names I used to play online games, along with a couple of other nicknames I haven't used here.

That in itself is not a problem. The problem is this: I've misrepresented exactly who I am. I don't really have a memory of how I started doing that (my memory for events is absolutely atrocious. It always was, but probably got worse with health problems.) Anyway, for some reason, when speaking as Tear, I took on the role of a friend of mine who died. We had a lot in common, including first names. But there are things I've claimed that aren't mine, and it's eating at me. When writing as Wormboy, I expressed 100% my own views. When writing as Tear, I replaced some of my own views and experiences with my dead best friend's (or as I imagined them)

First, I am more liberal than he was, though not a lot. I'm a social liberal and fiscally slightly right of center. But for example I support affirmative action while Tear opposes it. I'm less pro business than I represent myself as Tear, though I still favor free markets, just in a more regulated context. I'm actually OK with government spending in moderation. I'm moderate on war, and supported Gulf War I and Afghanistan, but not Iraq. As you can see, it's not all lies.

I was raised Catholic, but lost all interest in religion. I guess I'd have to call myself an agnostic, since I'm too much of a scientist to say "there is no God." But for all practical purposes, I'm areligious.

But here are more untruths: I'm a professor in a university cancer center, not a scientist in a biotech. I am involved in some companies, but I don't do what I claimed, even though they have the same expertise. I don't have an engineering degree, but rather a PhD. The engineer was my friend.

The worst of all is this: I was not in the army. This shames me particularly because I used it in arguments against forum members, sometimes aggressively. These views are an amalgamation of those of my dead friend and my father (both of whom were in the army). And because I used this so hypocritically, it makes me feel sick with guilt just to think about (see, raised a good Catholic, with that twisted Catholic guilt). {Edit: it doesn't help that in some little way this dishonors people who have actually served.}

Other details are all true. I did go to a college in Minnesota. I did play varsity soccer. I did go to Seattle for grad school (but a PhD, not engineering). And I lived in Berkeley (but for a postdocoral fellowship, not an internship). All the details of my romantic and personal life are as I pitched them, with the exception of the things lifted from my friends' life, noted above.

Health: I was honest as Wormboy. I have chronic fatigue syndrome, a brief bout in 1994/95, and a permanent bout starting in 1997. And my kidneys are indeed failing, for exactly the reasons I described.

Almost every way I've represented myself are my own views, but I dishonestly assumed some experiences that aren't mine. It's really weird, because I'm normally scrupulously honest. I'm not really sure how it happened, except that once you say stuff, you're stuck with it. But it makes me feel really dirty, and I don't like it.

Anyway, one solution was just to walk away from CC and pretend like I was never a lying snake. It would be easy to start over in some other forum and just be myself without any minor embellishments. But in some way that perpetuates the lie. So instead I contact you, as somebody who is strangely wise and level-headed, for some advice. My gut feeling is that I should post this pm for all of CC to see, and then apologize. Because I actually like most of the people in CC, and I feel like **** having deceived them. Lying is an ugly thing, and I don't want to perpetuate it any more. Hell, I feel really guilty having lied to you, since I like you. I'm really sorry.

Naturally, the result will be denouncements. So be it. But at least I will feel like any lies have been expunged. A person should be able to face the world with a clean conscience, right? Grabbing some of the traits I admired from my dear friend might be a relatively mild sin in the long term, but it still eats at me. Though it may be surprising, I view it as the worst thing I've done in my life. I've done my share of stupid stuff (mostly just clueless rather than malicious), but sustained lying has not been one of my sins. Except for this. In my defense, I had no intention of this being malicious either. Hell, I had no intention to continue posting here beyond a few posts early on. It just became something else, and I was trapped in the lies I told early on.

So, I obviously owe everybody a huge apology. I didn't really mean to do any harm (and probably the only harm done was to myself). But I wanted to express my contrition. Simply burying the lie or walking away isn't sufficient. I needed to own up to it.

Everything I've said in CC is true except what I've described here. Not much point in coming clean if you hold some back, eh?

Anyway, I'm sorry. Good luck to you all in your community. It's a special place, filled with interesting characters. I'll miss you all. Self-imposed exile seems to be the appropriate solution, don't you think?

Best of luck to you all.
Wormboy/']['ear

[Illusions]

The worst of all is this: I was not in the army.

I don't see why its necessary for you to leave, well at least from my point of view (since I assumed you were lying anyway, especially about the above). You actually came out pretty much on track with how I thought you were, except I didn't think you had a PhD.

...didn't you also admit this once before anyway?

[Minx]

This is the most bizarre thread ever.

Assuming it's not all lies ;) (see liar paradox (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liar%27s_paradox)), I think all I can say is... well, I'm okay with it, and, more, I think it's incredibly strong of you to fess up no matter what motivated you.

I think you should stay. I can't see a single good reason why coming clean on a a jaded internet forum otherwise plagued by perpetual dishonesty and cowardice should require an exile.

I never really knew you as Wormboy, but I have always appreciated your presence here, and I think this just adds to my appreciation.

So, if you can bear it--and if you aren't also Gentry--please stick around.

EDIT: I always assumed you had a Ph D since I never paid attention to most things you claimed about your life :p

EDIT2: Can you say anything about what your thesis was on/what you work on, without risking blowing your secret identity?

[Loki]

You know, if I bothered to compare the posting styles of Tear and Wormboy, I'd probably be more convinced than I was that it was one person. My hunch was just based on your age and knowledge of science (let's be honest, how many middle-age scientists would post in a forum like this one?).

I'm not a great fan of lying or deceit, but I don't think you really lied about issues that matter (if you lied about your health, that would be unforgivable in my opinion). Good on you for admitting to this all though.

I do have one question and I can't verify it myself, since posts from that time have been deleted, you left as Wormboy after making a thread talking about being really ill. Why did you do that and how soon after did you start posting as Tear (and I realize you posted as Tear beforehand, but did you take a break after that)?

[Rageaholic]

Admitting lies is painful, but a lot better than living with the lie in the end.

And what ever happened to Gentry anyway?

[Loki]

And what ever happened to Gentry anyway?

God knows. Someone should do some IP checks. I believe Gentry was Lady_Moraine beforehand as well. Not sure if she made a new account after leaving.

[Illusions]

And what ever happened to Gentry anyway?

She's supposedly really busy with business, however I feel that is doubtful... :o

Seriously though people, lying on the internet only makes you look like an ass if it was about something big (like Loki explained), otherwise it just makes you look lame...

[teclis]

Wow, so many things make sense now.

[Noah Crane]

How odd.

Even odder still is that you'd get all uppity with me when I said once that for all intents and purposes you weren't a Christian.

[Loki]

How odd.

Even odder still is that you'd get all uppity with me when I said once that for all intents and purposes you weren't a Christian.

That's not really odd. People get angry when caught out on a lie.

[Noah Crane]

That's not really odd. People get angry when caught out on a lie.

I guess. He even brought it up again in the Forum Cliques thread though.

[']['ear]

I don't see why its necessary for you to leave, well at least from my point of view (since I assumed you were lying anyway, especially about the above). You actually came out pretty much on track with how I thought you were, except I didn't think you had a PhD.

...didn't you also admit this once before anyway?

No. I lied only about military service and religion (though that one is pretty close to the case, since really I only stopped going to church. I have in fact suffered so crisis of faith lately, precipitated primarily by my chronic health problems).

Of course, the paradox that Minx points out is that how can you believe me? You can't, which is why it's best that I leave.

This is the most bizarre thread ever.

Assuming it's not all lies ;) (see liar paradox (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liar%27s_paradox)), I think all I can say is... well, I'm okay with it, and, more, I think it's incredibly strong of you to fess up no matter what motivated you.

I think you should stay. I can't see a single good reason why coming clean on a a jaded internet forum otherwise plagued by perpetual dishonesty and cowardice should require an exile.

I never really knew you as Wormboy, but I have always appreciated your presence here, and I think this just adds to my appreciation.

So, if you can bear it--and if you aren't also Gentry--please stick around.

EDIT: I always assumed you had a Ph D since I never paid attention to most things you claimed about your life :p

I appreciate the kindness! No, I'm not Gentry, who ttruly appeared to be a pathological liar. But I think moving on is best.

EDIT2: Can you say anything about what your thesis was on/what you work on, without risking blowing your secret identity?

I'll keep it vague, because I don't think it's a good thing to be tracked down as an individual. Besides, I've promised my wife that I'll keep internet activities anonymous, since she gets really creeped out about it.

My dissertation was on genetics of ion channels, and the things that regulate them, in behavior and muscle contraction.

My research now is developmental genetics: how "signal transduction" genes (they produce proteins that transmit signals from outside the cell to the inside, thus changing cellular "identity" and "behavior") involved in cancer regulate normal development. The idea is to learn about cancer by understanding what cancer genes do in the normal animal. To a knowledgeable forum member, I could drop terminology and have a discussion that would convince them that I'm not making it up.

You know, if I bothered to compare the posting styles of Tear and Wormboy, I'd probably be more convinced than I was that it was one person. My hunch was just based on your age and knowledge of science (let's be honest, how many middle-age scientists would post in a forum like this one?).

An excellent observation! I didn't try to assume a different persona, so everything matches up, as you have noted before (more than once, IIRC)

I'm not a great fan of lying or deceit, but I don't think you really lied about issues that matter (if you lied about your health, that would be unforgivable in my opinion). Good on you for admitting to this all though.

Pretty much was just myself except from those two areas, where I lifted from a good friend and my father , who have similar opinions on the subject.

And I disagree. Lying about having served in the military, especially about being in combat, shames me deeply. :( My friend actually has these stories of being in Panama after high school, while I was in college. He died in a car accident a couple of years before I started posting here. He had substance abuse problems, and I always wondered whether he was stoned when driving. He had an accident (weirdly on the way from a court-mandated drug counseling session), wasn't wearing a safety belt, and the car rolled over on him. He grew up just down the street from me.

I've had dummy email accounts in his name, and will sign his name for online stuff where I don't want my name out there. It's a weird way of honoring him, but it sort of keeps him alive. Anyway, it was just that at first.

I do have one question and I can't verify it myself, since posts from that time have been deleted, you left as Wormboy after making a thread talking about being really ill. Why did you do that and how soon after did you start posting as Tear (and I realize you posted as Tear beforehand, but did you take a break after that)?

I had a chronic fatigue crash around then. IIRC (and I really don't remember that well) I had posted as Tear before, and simply used that account when I came back. It kind of evolved from there. Kind of interesting from a sociological perspective.

I originally started playing UT while on a health leave from Berkeley during another crash--it kept me sane while not working for a few months. It also provided me with a substitute for playing sports, which I loved before I got sick. Same competition, same drive to improve, same give and play with teammates and opponents.

Generally I have managed my life well to avoid crashes, though I'm pretty strung out now just having returned from a conference and having a grant application due in a couple of weeks.

[Steely Glint]

['ear;10474766"]-snip-

You're really weird, did you know that?

[Noah Crane]

['ear;10474963"] You can't, which is why it's best that I leave.

I honestly don't think anyone cares that much. Yes, it's exceedingly strange behaviour but as Loki pointed out, only if you'd lied about your health would it have been really outrageous. In that case, people would rightly have been very offended. As it is, I don't see why you'd feel you have to leave.

[supermarioman]

Well, that came out of left field.
I don't care really, Lying about one's age or profession isn't that big of a deal.
At least I don't have anything to hide though.


Steely Glint

[LittleFuzzy]

I admit I'm surprised. My memories of Wormboy are a bit hazier than those of other posters, I think, but I don't really recall the posting styles to be that similar. I guess I'm just credulous, I didn't think Kane was Zuchov for the longest time either, despite the strong similarities *mostly because I thought Kane might at least have said "hi" to me, if it were him. You jackass :p *

The lies about being in the military don't really bother me, as I don't remember you making assertions about things like being in combat. If you had lied about your health, yeah, as Loki said you'd be up ****-creek with just about all of us. I am somewhat perturbed about the lies on religion though.

[Minx]

['ear;10474963"]Of course, the paradox that Minx points out is that how can you believe me? You can't, which is why it's best that I leave.

Nonsense, it just makes things more exciting :p like trying to figure out how serious Nessie is in any given post. Anyway, how can I believe anyone on CC about anything?

science stuffI only asked because I find cancer incredibly fascinating :p I think you should stick around for at least five more years, in case I decide I want to invest a significant amount of time and effort immersing myself in cancer research. Yes, this is an entirely selfish request, but I am being honest about it!

Tear, if you really feel like moving on from CC is the right thing to do at this time in your life, then of course you should. All I'm saying is that exile isn't the necessary "punishment" (in quotes because, well, we all knows this place :downcast: ) for what you've done. So if you wish to justify a departure to us, you might need a better reason.

This business with your UT proficiency has really been bothering me, and now I am even more bothered by the claim that UT kept you sane. This doesn't at all mesh with my views and experiences of UT :mad:

[Illusions]

['ear;10474963"]No. I lied only about military service and religion.

You just said that you lied about your education as well...geez...really... :bulb:

Look, I don't really see how this is relevant to posting here, as we usually have discussions involving facts, and opinions...not who has the most fabricated online identity...

:confused:...wait, most of you are suprised that he was lying? :bulb:

Wait a minute...hmm...

...are any of you interested in buying a bridge in lower Manhattan perhaps? I can sell it to you for cheap I can...just make a check out to Cash and mail it to the address I PM you...we'll arrange delivery after that... :o

[Steely Glint]

If Tear had lied to make himself seem like he was more successful in life/of higher status than he actually was, then that might be something to get offended about, but appranty he's made himself appear equally or somewhat less successful than he actually is, for motives I'm having a hard time comprehending. So, meh.

Excepting a few friends, I basically don't give a stuff about the personal life or biography of any of the posters on here so I don't really care if they lie about them either.

If Tear feels he has to leave, that is his decision but as Noah says I don't think people are gonna care that much. :o

[Minx]

Yes, as a community, our capacity for love/forgiveness/indifference is almost limitless.

[bigjimdavis]

I don't really know you other than your posts in the CC, but I guess my advancing age makes me look at things a bit different than most people. With age comes wisdom and the ability to admit and atone for past mistakes is an admirable trait. "Coming clean" in this thread in the manner you have shows excellent character, the fact that these "lies" have been eating at you for quite some time also shows you are remorseful for your actions. It is never easy to publically admit your own discretions and it takes a bigger man to do so in a forum where his words can live on forever.

My advice is not to leave but stay and continue to post - just be yourself. You have made many friends here who can look past any perceived "little white lies" into the person you really are. Just give them a chance as I sure they will do the same for you.

[supermarioman]

Yes, as a community, our capacity for love/forgiveness/indifference/hate is almost limitless.
Fixed.

[Loki]

If Tear had lied to make himself seem like he was more successful in life/of higher status than he actually was, then that might be something to get offended about, but appranty he's made himself appear equally or somewhat less successful than he actually is, for motives I'm having a hard time comprehending. So, meh.

Exactly.

Excepting a few friends, I basically don't give a stuff about the personal life or biography of any of the posters on here so I don't really care if they lie about them either.

Ditto. I know I'll be liked or hated based on what I say, not on my background, so there really is no incentive to make the latter up as far as I'm concerned.

You know, I think it comes down to Tear thinking that other people lie about their online identities, which made it ok for him to lie (at least at the beginning; once you lie, you end up having to lie more and more to cover it up). I honestly don't think this is a reason to leave though. I doubt anyone would be thinking during a debate "what Tear is saying can't be true because he lied about his identity".

[Noah Crane]

:confused:...wait, most of you are suprised that he was lying? :bulb:

Wait a minute...hmm...

...are any of you interested in buying a bridge in lower Manhattan perhaps? I can sell it to you for cheap I can...just make a check out to Cash and mail it to the address I PM you...we'll arrange delivery after that... :o

I think people just find the manner of his lying strange. I'm sure there are people who make up deliberately controversial personas or whatnot for fun (St. Mark, for e.g.). But what ][ear did was just downright strange.

But as I said, I don't think anyone cares.

[Loki]

['ear;10474963"]An excellent observation! I didn't try to assume a different persona, so everything matches up, as you have noted before (more than once, IIRC)

Should have assumed an identity a bit further from science to be honest. :p Though I do recall Wormboy being just as combatative as Tear and just as likely to get riled up about the same issues. Is there any reason why you tried to adopt your friend's views? That's the part that makes the least sense to me.

And I disagree. Lying about having served in the military, especially about being in combat, shames me deeply. :( My friend actually has these stories of being in Panama after high school, while I was in college. He died in a car accident a couple of years before I started posting here. He had substance abuse problems, and I always wondered whether he was stoned when driving. He had an accident (weirdly on the way from a court-mandated drug counseling session), wasn't wearing a safety belt, and the car rolled over on him. He grew up just down the street from me.

*shrug* Perhaps it's offensive for those who are really serving, but I really don't see why it really matters.

Generally I have managed my life well to avoid crashes, though I'm pretty strung out now just having returned from a conference and having a grant application due in a couple of weeks.

Just don't let this stress you out more than it should. You made a big boo-boo, but it really isn't that important. Concentrate on your health, not on whether this made some people on an internet forum dislike you.

I think people just find the manner of his lying strange. I'm sure there are people who make up deliberately controversial personas or whatnot for fun (St. Mark, for e.g.). But what ][ear did was just downright strange.

But as I said, I don't think anyone cares.

On that note, I wonder if St. Mark and NocturnalC were the same person.

[Illusions]

On that note, I wonder if St. Mark and NocturnalC were the same person.

Well actually thats true...because I am everyone on Atari CC, except for yourself and Tear... :o

[Loki]

Well actually thats true...because I am everyone on Atari CC, except for yourself and Tear... :o

I'm Fuzzy too. :o

[Steely Glint]

This makes the 'Nessie's not from finland!' episode even moar amusing, though :o

[Noah Crane]

This makes the 'Nessie's not from finland!' episode even moar amusing, though :o

What was that?

[Dreadnaught]

I think I remember stumbling on this by accident this a while ago during a round of IP checks to figure out if someone was a returned-banee. But I didn't think it was a huge issue at the time and I don't think it is now. Glad you came clean on some issues, but it looks like at the core you've been relatively honest.

I really don't think this is a good reason for you to go. If anything, it's a good reason for you to stay. If anything, you've actually brought more of yourself into the fold and it's worth staying.

[Steely Glint]

Ooh, Tear once decided that Nessie wasn't a girl living in Finlandistan doing physics, but a 40 year old male trucker in Albama or something.

Actually, Tear has always had a thing about how people describe themselves online, and has always been skeptical about things people say about themselves. Guess we know why, now :o

[Loki]

I think I remember stumbling on this by accident this a while ago during a round of IP checks to figure out if someone was a returned-banee. But I didn't think it was a huge issue at the time and I don't think it is now. Glad you came clean on some issues, but it looks like at the core you've been relatively honest.

Can you check St. Mark and NocturnalC, along with homercles and inductus in general? :noob:

[Phobas]

Huh,
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.
still this ones a suprise.

[Illusions]

I'm Fuzzy too. :o

But...but, I'm LittleFuzzy as well...how can this be possible...unless...

[Loki]

But...but, I'm LittleFuzzy as well...how can this be possible...unless...

Fuzzy is really controlling both of us. :eek:

[oldmunchkin]

I have to agree with Jim and Dread. I too, am older, and realize that most people aren't completely honest online, or offline for that matter. :p I have had some very interesting conversations with you, Tear, and will really miss them if you do decide to go. You have done what you felt you needed to do, come clean about what you really are and who you really are. Who among us has never "fibbed" a bit? Stick around, keep posting, and keep being your interesting self.

[Illusions]

Fuzzy is really controlling both of us. :eek:

It could just be that we're all alternate personalities of LittleFuzzy and he has multiple personality disorder... :o

[']['ear]

Aren't we all fairly strange, Steely? At least once you get to know somebody well?

You just said that you lied about your education as well...geez...really... :bulb:

Yeah, that too. But as people have pointed out, downgrading oneself is not really shameful. What I feel really bad about is the military and religion.

Look, I don't really see how this is relevant to posting here, as we usually have discussions involving facts, and opinions...not who has the most fabricated online identity...

:confused:...wait, most of you are suprised that he was lying? :bulb:

Wait a minute...hmm...

...are any of you interested in buying a bridge in lower Manhattan perhaps? I can sell it to you for cheap I can...just make a check out to Cash and mail it to the address I PM you...we'll arrange delivery after that... :o

Wait, you found me implausible?

Ooh, Tear once decided that Nessie wasn't a girl living in Finlandistan doing physics, but a 40 year old male trucker in Albama or something.

Alaska

Actually, Tear has always had a thing about how people describe themselves online, and has always been skeptical about things people say about themselves. Guess we know why, now :o

Yup.

I also questioned a couple of new posters who immediately assumed the "I'm a cute nubile young female" persona. I just find that wildly improbable.

[Illusions]

['ear;10475215"]Yeah, that too. But as people have pointed out, downgrading oneself is not really shameful. What I feel really bad about is the military and religion.

Well it doesn't offend any of us (at least that have posted yet)...


Wait, you found me implausible?


:confused: I thought it was heavily apparent that you were lying about your job, military service, college life, etc (but not your relationship and illness)...

...obviously not though... :bulb:

[Minx]

Wait, why did you never say so then?

[Illusions]

Wait, why did you never say so then?

Because I thought it was fraking obvious, like if you were out with a group of people and saw a person in an evening dress with a mustache, hairy legs, and an adam's apple, would you have to point out to your friends that perhaps that lady might be a man? No, you'd assume they already knew, and you certainly wouldn't walk up to said "lady" and be like "Look, I know you're a dude..." either...

:bulb:

[']['ear]

Huh. OK.

Edit: Here I was consumed with being dishonest, and a sizable portion of CC assumes that everybody is dishonest anyway. :bulb:

[Minx]

Because I thought it was fraking obvious, like if you were out with a group of people and saw a person in an evening dress with a mustache, hairy legs, and an adam's apple, would you have to point out to your friends that perhaps that lady might be a man? No, you'd assume they already knew, and you certainly wouldn't walk up to said "lady" and be like "Look, I know you're a dude..." either...

:bulb:

This does not scan. It must have been obvious to you that your beliefs weren't shared by most people here. Also, I have never known you to NOT point out the obvious, nor to pass up an opportunity to discredit someone when possible :downcast:

It is quite obvious you are lying.




When it comes to identities, I'm a very trusting person, at least on the internet. It doesn't really matter who you are, just what you say and do that affects me.

I doubt you'd have this reaction on a more social forum, though.

[Loki]

And I thought I was cynical. :bored:

[Illusions]

This does not scan. It must have been obvious to you that your beliefs weren't shared by most people here.

I just thought everyone either didn't care like I did, or was just playing along. :bored:

Also, I have never known you to NOT point out the obvious, nor to pass up an opportunity to discredit someone when possible :downcast:

I have restrained myself quite a few times...it would invalidate why I did so to point out where...:o


It is quite obvious you are lying.

Yes, of course... :downcast:

And I thought I was cynical. :bored:

Nope, I beat out everyone on this forum. Well technically I beat out most people on any forum, otherwise they wouldn't be breathing... :o

[gogobongopop]

Don't worry, Tear. It doesn't really change anything as far as I'm concerned. I'm pretty sure a good amount of what and who people say they are/do in real life is made up. We're all wasting our pathetic lives on this forum, I'm pretty sure we all understand if some people use the opportunity to bend the truth a little in order to inject some kind funkiness.

You're still you and there's no need to go (again!). Hope you stick around because this place will be worse off without you.

[AR81]

Look, this is a forum. Sometimes we make mistakes and if you feel that you made one, honest apologize is all you need and then do what you promised.

If you do, you are likely to enjoy a lot for the coming years. I have been here since 1999. I would like to see you telling me in the future that you were here for 5 years.

[Loki]

Nope, I beat out everyone on this forum. Well technically I beat out most people on any forum, otherwise they wouldn't be breathing... :o

Out of curiosity, do you think I lied about anything? :o

[Echovirus]

Look, this is a forum. Sometimes we make mistakes and if you feel that you made one, honest apologize is all you need and then do what you promised.

If you do, you are likely to enjoy a lot for the coming years. I have been here since 1999. I would like to see you telling me in the future that you were here for 5 years.
But his Tear account has already been here for 5 years and 4 months. :bulb:

[RandBlade]

Unexpected thread.

Look, you've been honest now - belatedly, I don't see any reason why you should go away at this point :weird:. Its odd behaviour, but not critical.

The biggest thing that bothers me isn't the army/religion but health . . . there have been threads before where past members names have been discussed and Wormboy's has been brought up and people here have expressed concern and wondered if he you were OK and healthy, if the reason he you had not returned was due to health reasons. To have gone years letting people worry, when first time you saw that (if you have, if you haven't I wonder how) you could have turned around and ended that worry, either by coming clean or even by re-posting as Wormboy. To not have done either all these years, that bothers me.

But its happened now. To the Wormboy persona, I guess welcome back :weird:

[Illusions]

Out of curiosity, do you think I lied about anything? :o

Not that I'm aware of, I have been confused at points as to whether you were a guy, or a girl posing as a guy to keep from being hit on by the men here and to be taken seriously whenever you posted anything about economics, politics, or the situations in Israel...I do believe though that you're of Jewish descent and have emigrated from Russia to NY here in the US and pursued (in the beginning) a degree in economics... :o

...I'm also pretty sure you like kittens and cats... :o

...anyway you claimed I was cynical, not a psychic :noob:

[Loki]

Not that I'm aware of, I have been confused at points as to whether you were a guy, or a girl posing as a guy to keep from being hit on by the men here and to be taken seriously whenever you posted anything about economics, politics, or the situations in Israel...I do believe though that you're of Jewish descent and have emigrated from Russia to NY here in the US and pursued (in the beginning) a degree in economics... :o

...I'm also pretty sure you like kittens and cats... :o

...anyway you claimed I was cynical, not a psychic :noob:

Just making sure. I think RB can verify that I'm of the non-fair sex. :o I can also verify that RB is indeed British and not Nigerian. :o

[RandBlade]

You merely think I can? We didn't drink that much!

[Illusions]

Just making sure.

:confused:...umm...ok...:weird:

I think RB can verify that I'm of the non-fair sex.

You're lucky he came to visit in NY as thats illegal in a few states west of here... :o

I can also verify that RB is indeed British and not Nigerian. :o

Damn... *pencils out going to Western Union later in the day to send him money because his late aunt's uncle's second cousin's brother's sister died leaving him a large inheritance that he is unable to claim because he can't afford to pay the bank to have the safety deposit box opened and is willing to give me 50% of the money if I just send him $1000*

:sour:

[Loki]

You merely think I can? We didn't drink that much!

Hey, I'm still not entirely convinced you're not a Nigerian spambot. :o

You're lucky he came to visit in NY as thats illegal in a few states west of here... :o

Don't ask, don't tell. :o

[Minx]

You merely think I can? We didn't drink that much!
RB this can be interpreted in several entertaining ways :p

[catgrrl]

Well, Tear, I don't really know you, since I've only been lurking a short while. I think it was a good thing that you've decided to confess your secret persona, but I don't think you should leave because of it. Maybe I'm just indifferent because many people aren't who/what they say they are on the internet. You have that ability to adopt another persona because no one's going to be able to verify it anyway.
Don't go. I think everyone here can accept what you've admitted, and move on.

BTW: I am a cute young female, no lies there! :p

[Minx]

Can someone clear up all these identities for me?

Are Zuchov and Cain the same people or not? Is St. Mark another alias?

What other secret identities are there?

[Noah Crane]

Can someone clear up all these identities for me?

Are Zuchov and Cain the same people or not? Is St. Mark another alias?

What other secret identities are there?

Zuchov and Cain are the same. Not sure if St. Mark is an alias of someone else but I'm pretty sure he's not an atheist as he claims for example.

[Minx]

I get these military types mixed up. But now that I think about it, I think St. Mark is a married man whereas Cain is a manslut of sorts :downcast:

And you, Noah? Who else are YOU??

Sometimes I think you could be Fuzzy... but you're too British.

[Steely Glint]

I'm Spartacus.

[Khendraja'aro]

I'm a small flower on the wall. :cool:

[LittleFuzzy]

I get these military types mixed up. But now that I think about it, I think St. Mark is a married man whereas Cain is a manslut of sorts :downcast:

And you, Noah? Who else are YOU??

Sometimes I think you could be Fuzzy... but you're too British.

WTF? You think I'm Catholic? Or do you sometimes think Noah's lying about being Catholic?

[DarkWraith]

:confused: I thought it was heavily apparent that you were lying about your job, military service, college life, etc (but not your relationship and illness)...

...obviously not though... :bulb:
I actually knew he was lying about military service too, and pretty sure about the other stuff. Never made the wormboy connection though, thought he was just adopting some aspects of what wormboy told us into his story lately.

[Miang]

Um... as odd as this revelation is, what seems odder is that I seem to be the only long-timer here who can't even vaguely remember who Wormboy is/was...

[termite]

BTW: I am a cute young female, no lies there! :p

Normally this is where I'd ask for pics, but that didn't turn out so well last time.

[edit] As for having more than one identity, I have trouble with the one identity I was given without confusing myself further by having to remember some sh*t I said earlier.

It is true about tangled webs & lies.

I also wonder what a shrink would make of ][ears use of his dead friends life experiences in his online identity - is it an attempt to resurrect the friend? Perhaps some kind of identity crisis? Perhaps it is neither and is merely using someone elses experiences as your own in order to come from a position of strength in a discussion?

This is all very interesting.:o

OK catgrrl now about those pics....

[Bitter Jeweler]

Well, Tear,...Don't go. I think everyone here can accept what you've admitted, and move on.

BTW: I am a cute young female, no lies there! :p

I agree with this post.

[Illusions]

I actually knew he was lying about military service too, and pretty sure about the other stuff. Never made the wormboy connection though, thought he was just adopting some aspects of what wormboy told us into his story lately.

This makes me feel better... :noob:

[Widows Peak Oz]

][ear, I will love you no matter who you say you are.................

I burn for you

[Minx]

I had this nagging feeling this thread was reminding me of something, and I was right.

Tear, when you have some free time and feel like you want to read something new, you might want to check out the book I Am a Strange Loop, by Douglas Hofstadter (the writer of Gödel, Escher, Bach :o). Among many things, he discusses the notion of a soul being an abstract pattern--specifically a pattern of a type he calls a "strange loop"--that can exist and be run on different substrates. So, for example, little shards of the souls of people we know have an existence in our own brains :)

The first chapters are a little bit annoying (I thought), at least while he's going on about his vegetarianism, but it gets better, and he is a very skilled writer with a [generally] very pleasant and distinctive voice :)

Cheers!

-- P

PS. The sentence "I am lying" is also a strange loop, it seems :downcast:

[Steely Glint]

Um... as odd as this revelation is, what seems odder is that I seem to be the only long-timer here who can't even vaguely remember who Wormboy is/was...

I only know of him through the recollections of other posters.

[Ziggy Stardust]

I really don't need to know everything about someone's identity, maybe not even anything, or even demand they be honest about it. I'm with Minx, the way you interact, your posts, are what's important. Same goes for Nessus.

Apology not accepted. I wouldn't know where to put it.

[GGT]

Health: I was honest as Wormboy. I have chronic fatigue syndrome, a brief bout in 1994/95, and a permanent bout starting in 1997. And my kidneys are indeed failing, for exactly the reasons I described.

No clue about Wormboy, but don't beat yourself up, Tear. Coming clean was probably harder to do than the initial persona play. Maybe health issues and frustration had something to do with it?



It's interesting how we define our identities or interpret others, in real life and on-line, and how much of our true selves we're willing to share or trust from others.

Let alone what this forum "means" to any one of us, whether it's "real" or not, simply diversion or entertainment, an opinion platform, or a social network....

Between this thread and Nessie's and the forum clique one, I'd say there are many reasons for any of us to keep coming back; it's a unique kind of place. Lots of times I think, aw **** it, it's just an angry place, fighting to the death with words, or a bunch of chat spam, or I'm too old for this medium and don't really understand it. God only knows why I keep coming back, but I hope you do, too :)

[']['ear]

Thanks GGT. I must say I was surprised by peoples' reactions (or lack thereof).

[teclis]

I agree with the majority Tear, we don't always agree, but this place would be lessened if you left. Stick around, defend your left of center politics, and whatever other issues strike you as important.

[AmericanWoman]

I abstain from commenting.

[termite]

I abstain from commenting.

Actually you just commented.:noob:

[Unheard Of]

['ear;10478087"]Thanks GGT. I must say I was surprised by peoples' reactions (or lack thereof).
][earboy, people often misrepresent themselves on the internet. Your transgression seems comparatively mild, although rather odd.

[Wormboy]

Cool, I can still log in. For those who though I was making that up, I suppose this lays it to rest.

I guess I'd rather continue as Tear, stupid 1337 lettering and all.

Edit: Ha! Still has that stupid sig

[Loki]

Cool, I can still log in. For those who though I was making that up, I suppose this lays it to rest.

I guess I'd rather continue as Tear, stupid 1337 lettering and all.

Edit: Ha! Still has that stupid sig

You have such a l33t postcount. :p

[']['ear]

I wonder why? Certainly I didn't post that many times.

[Dreadnaught]

Whoa, when did all the posts get pruned?

[Loki]

Years back. :noob: Even his account got pruned.

[Lebanese Dragon]

Even though I generally didn't pay attention to the life stories of forum members, if someone asked me what Tear did, I would have no idea...

Anyway, I'm happy that you were able to tell the truth, I know that can be a very hard thing to do, once you've dug yourself into a lie, that you've told everyone. I'm glad you got this off your chest, and I'm sure it makes you a stronger person... And I hope you stay around, I see no reason why you would need to leave, though I do think your apology was much appreciated, especially since you used your "experience" in certain areas in debates. So, again I applaud your effort, thanks for coming out Tear.

I'm fairly confident you're telling the truth with this post, I see no advantage or reason to lie about it. If you said i've never been in the military, but I am a military advisor for the head general, I would be suspicious, because you'd be "promoting" yourself so to speak.

Thanks for coming out tear.

[Timbuk2]

:bored:

And I hate using that smiley.

[Ghost Enigma]

I had an inkling about the military thing, and your politics never made much sense to me, but such is life.

I'll be damned but, for some reason this makes you more likable, and for the life of me I can't figure it out.

I see no reason why you should go. As much as we don't always see eye to eye, I do appreciate the candor and knowledge you bring to the forums.

[Lewkowski]

For years I told you he was a liberal...

[Ziggy Stardust]

:bored:

[Illusions]

For years I told you he was a liberal...

:bored:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f4/The_Scream.jpg/463px-The_Scream.jpg